The Reckoning

Ok so yesterday did it.  I knew I was getting tubbier and tubbier and was failing at counting points, calories and the glasses of wine and everything else passing through my lips.  Even my 'fat trousers' were tight.

So I got on the scales and finally saw the damage - 10st 13lbs...I haven't been that weight since pregnancy.  If I don't do something NOW it's going to get even worse.  So from yesterday, it's back counting points but....should I join a slimming club meeting or an on-line club?  If I go for a meeting - shall I do an evening one near home or one lunchtime near work?  Decisions, decisions....still not sure yet.  In the meanwhile I've made a start.

First Milestone Achieved.
Actually managed to stay within points limit yesterday.  **Pats on the back**.  Recovering fatties like me are like recovering alcoholics.....one day at a time.

I'm going to use Tarot to inspire, guide and help me starting with my Oracle cards (which aren't Tarot cards at all).

My Starting Point
These cards represent how I feel about my current fattie status.

To explain what they mean:

The Inquirer card (the green card, broadly central to the spread) represents me.  To my left in the 'past' position is The Liar which represents how I've been kidding myself about my growing size - literally lying to myself that it wasn't getting any worse.

The cards below are where I am now, The Body is a Beast. And below The Body I've added The Cave, which represents how I feel about The Beastly Body.  I want it all hidden.  Hide it away.

My future lies above the Inquirer card and I know what I've got to do.  The first card is The Scales - I can't ignore them.  No matter how bad food-wise I've been I will have to step onto those judgemental bar stewards every week and view my progress (or not).  otherwise I'm back at The Liar point again.

The Scales are the path towards Beauty (slimmer figure) and Sun (feeling happy about The Body again).

Don't get me wrong - I am a very happy person in my life, but not about my figure.  That needs some serious work.

So this is where I am starting from - can I do it?

Today
Ok so far.  Had bircher muesli for breakfast and vegetable soup followed by roast vegetable salad for lunch.  This saves some points for wine.  If I can't indulge in a few pleasures, I will fail miserably - so the trick is to just plan it in.

My Tarot card today:


Death. This is a good card for the start of a diet because it doesn't mean I'm going to snuff it - it means transformation and making major changes.  Out with the old and in with the new. Re-birth. Chucking out old habits and developing new ones.

Today's habit change:
Not pouring out a mega 250ml glass of wine.  Instead:  Put loads of ice in 250ml glass, measure out 100ml of wine and pour over ice.  It looks as big as the 250ml one, lasts as long and tastes ok.  I can have 2 and a half of these for the same points price as 1 pure wine 250ml glass.  And it feels like I'm having several few drinks.

Cheers everybody!